i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
