before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i will never coherently bang her
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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