think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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