Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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