I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
