A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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