he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
