Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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