Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
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