I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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