video games are the ultimate cock blocker
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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