I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
