He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
