So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
