five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i think i just lost a toe
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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