If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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