Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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