you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
