If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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