I look better un-naked...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
