Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
