you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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