I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
