I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
