i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
