My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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