i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
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