never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
false alarm, still single
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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