He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
