I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
