i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize