Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
