Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
