yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
ok first of all what the fuck
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
