he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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