I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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