if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
