I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
