On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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