My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
where are you?
Hypothermia
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
