Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
