It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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