i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Randomize
