maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Randomize
