if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
