Are we in a gay sports bar?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
