You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
