I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
