Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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