some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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