Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
