Whod you bang
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
