While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
