Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
