Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
