You work out of a Hotel?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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