I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
