He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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